Sleep Strategies for the New Parent: Months 0-1
Let me guess: You spent nine months becoming an expert
on pregnancy and childbirth but forgot to read up on how to care for your
newborn? The adrenaline and pain killers have worn off and a few sleepless
nights have made you realize that so much of parenting revolves around sleep?
This series will use the lens of sleep to guide you through the early days of
motherhood. Grab some goals along the way so you can emerge unscathed from the
fog of new parenthood.
MONTHS 0-1 Goal: Recover and Recreate Womb
Sleep is the best medicine for both you and baby as you recover from the trauma of pregnancy and birth. Both your bodies just underwent an exhausting process, whether it took the form of stretched skin, poking and prodding, a difficult labor, major surgery, pushing through the birth canal, or whatever unique circumstances surrounded your last nine months. Use this first month as a mom to ease your transition into the postpartum world by finding ways to be kind to your body and to recreate the womb environment for your newborn.
It all starts in your hospital room. Make the most of the help you have in the form of hospital staff because, within a matter of days, you will be back home flying solo and aching for some shut-eye. While those first couple nights are precious time with your newborn, there’s no need to watch baby sleep. At this stage, newborns will basically be either eating or sleeping. So, bond with baby while you feed her, then call for the nurse to bring her back to the nursery. That will give you an hour or two to sleep before baby is ready for another feeding.
Once it’s daytime, nap whenever possible. This is easier said than done because, aside from baby wanting to eat every two to three hours, there will also be a million demands on your attention: doctors, visitors, breastfeeding class, nurses asking you to pee, and a beckoning shower.
While it will be quieter once you return home, napping in order to recover the hours stolen from your typical night’s sleep will require effort. We all know how difficult it is to function on fragmented sleep. And when mommy brain sets in, it is harder than ever to think clearly. Go ahead and set the bar low so you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you do successfully make it through a full sleep cycle. For starters, set a goal of putting your feet up and closing your eyes for eight minutes. This will give your eyes a rest and let you block out at least some of the stimuli that require your attention. Bonus: When your eyes are closed, you can’t see that pile of laundry!
You can try closing your eyes once baby gets the hang of breastfeeding and you are no longer searching for the perfect latch. With my singletons, I tried as much as possible to feed baby while lying down in bed as a form of forced relaxation. For my twins, I sat up to feed them simultaneously but could still rest in the rocking chair during the feeding.
A newborn will inevitably snooze several times a day. Take advantage of those naps to take a catnap of your own. If baby fell asleep while feeding, join her. Just make sure she’s safe from falls or getting crushed. A newborn isn’t at risk of rolling or crawling off the bed, so if she falls asleep in bed, just let her carry on with her nap where she is. For peace of mind, you can tuck some rolled-up towels under the fitted sheet to create a little pen around the snoozing baby. Then transfer your nap to the couch.
Take advantage of baby’s sleepy first two weeks of life by focusing on recovering from delivery in ways beyond sleep as well. With you in better physical and mental shape, you’ll be more prepared to cope with baby’s topsy turvy schedule. Go to your scheduled check-ups with your OBGYN. Even if it seems impossible to get out the door this early on, make it a priority. Treat your wounds. Try a sitz bath. If you are breastfeeding, get help from a lactation consultant. Caring for clogged ducts and achieving a proper latch can work wonders for sore breasts.
No new mom is expected to be an expert on child rearing right away. When it comes to sleep advice for your growing babe, there’s no end to resources available. The problem is, it takes time to do the research–time you could spend sleeping.
Find a voice that resonates with you, whether it’s a particular author, doctor or mom friend. Then, give their sleep philosophy a solid try. Just because one idea or method doesn’t immediately work for your child doesn’t mean it’s worthless. Some strategies may take a week or even a month of adjusting time. Consistency is key for whatever trial period you embark upon. Don’t offer a pacifier for a few naps and then refuse it for the next one. Don’t give up on the swaddle just because baby breaks his arms free during sleep. Don’t scrap bedtime reading time just because your little one seems more interested in staring at the shadow on the wall than looking at the book. Habits take time to set in.
Since newborns are already in the habit of being in the womb, use what we know about the womb environment to your advantage. Do what you can to ease baby’s transition to the outside world by giving her what she is accustomed to: loud swooshing sounds, a snug space, body warmth, and swaying movement. Dr. Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, nicknames the first three months the “fourth trimester” because baby will be calmed by anything you do to simulate the womb.
A sound machine is a great way to help babies fall asleep and stay asleep for longer stretches. A consistent noise like the whooshing of white noise, the crackle of radio static, or the hum of a fan work well to mask any sudden increases in background noise, such as a passing truck, a startling scene from a movie playing in the adjacent room, or a sibling’s sneeze.
Wrapping up baby in a tight swaddle with a Velcro closure will keep her arms from flailing around, bopping baby’s head, and waking her up unnecessarily. Babies are naturally little Houdinis, finding ways to snake their arms up out of the swaddle. I often found my infants wiggling their little fingers up by their chins and out of their swaddle blankets. While it might seem like this means baby doesn’t like the swaddle, remember that he just came out of a very tight, cozy womb, and returning to that feeling of snug safety will do wonders for helping him settle down to sleep and stay asleep longer.
Once baby starts rolling, you can free first one hand and then the other, but don’t ditch the swaddle just yet. Just use it as a sleep sack instead, bundling up the bottom half of baby with the arms free. It is still a powerful tool in your arsenal of sleep cues and is safer than putting baby in her crib with a normal blanket, which could easily get kicked off unintentionally or even dangerously entangled around the sleeping child.
Equipped with bodies that are well on their way to recovery, you and baby can greet the one-month mark with determination and optimism. Next, it’s time to grab your best nuggets of sleep advice and put them into action so you and baby can catch some longer stretches of shut-eye.
Read the rest of the sleep series here:
MONTHS 0-1: Recover and Recreate Womb
MONTHS 1-2: Correct Night vs. Day Confusion
MONTHS 2-3: Establish Structure and Habits
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