Stop Procrastinating! Make Magic Happen by Picking One Priority Each Day
Much to my daughter’s chagrin, “lights out” trumps all the other activities she’d rather be doing at 8 p.m. It never seems like there are enough hours in the day. And yet, when we put life’s demands and our hearts desires in their proper place on our list of priorities, time management magic can happen.
I reminded my daughter that life is full of wonderful choices and millions of valuable ways to spend our time. She had invited a friend over that afternoon to play and craft Christmas presents–only to run out of time that evening for family movie night. Other days she chooses to make music or play hide-and-seek with her siblings rather than complete her daily required reading homework during the daylight. She finds herself, therefore, stuck reading with a book light in a dark bedroom while her siblings drift off to sleep. She creates intricate animations and edits her videos for hours but then bemoans the fact that she is rushed to complete the online math games her teacher assigned.
We can’t do everything in a life this size, but we can do a few important things well. One of our jobs as parents is to teach our kids how to set priorities, make choices that align with those priorities, and experience the natural consequences of those choices.
Fortunately–thanks to those consequences–the following day proved fruitful. My daughter announced that she was getting ready for school and putting her socks and shoes on early so she would have time to play her guitar. That evening, she corralled her siblings into brushing their teeth in a timely manner so that we’d have enough time to finish the movie that got cut off the night before.
She also got dressed early the following morning so she’d have time to continue a project she was particularly excited about. What started as a math assignment to build a paper cube robot and calculate its volume, my daughter chose to expand into a larger display for her school’s STEAM Night. When the motivation is there, there are (miraculously) enough minutes in the morning for what’s most important.
My kids weren’t always this time-conscious. When they were infants and toddlers, I managed their schedules completely. The baby didn’t choose to play with Play-Doh for ten minutes rather than five to give me time to prepare lunch. The toddler didn’t calculate how many more times he could go down the slide in order to make it to the birthday party on time. When I said it was time to nap, that’s what they did (ok, mostly). I planned playdates with kids whose parents I wanted to hang out with, and a five-minute warning meant exactly that. Without realizing it, I was modeling how to manage time in a way that suited our family well.
Parents have the wisdom to know when one activity should usurp another on the ladder of priorities. We have the authority to make both the rules and the exceptions. But as our children mature, a new parental responsibility surfaces: We must gradually step back so they can practice making decisions and managing their own time.
These days, when I pick up my four kids from elementary school, they have their own grand plans for how to spend their afternoons. Two of my daughters just completed a semester of Girls on the Run, so this week they suddenly have four additional free hours of time. I love seeing how they choose to spend it.
Today, my eldest daughter set up a playdate with a friend to design a miniature house inside a shoe box. My son played touch football with his buddies then walked home for some quiet time before his sisters descended upon the apartment. Another daughter hung out at the playground with some classmates, which led to an impromptu dinner party at our place when a dad got stuck at work. My youngest spent the afternoon at her art class and is now happily building her stuffed elephant a very sparkly construction paper habitat at home.
Part of developing time management as a life skill is learning to think not only of your own interests but also the wellbeing of others. It’s about coming to the realization that you don’t live in a bubble. Your actions and choices affect others. Taking five more minutes to wrap up a project instead of coming right to the table when called delays dinner for everyone. Dawdling in the toothbrushing line means your brother will be late for class. Packing your snack the night before will free up an extra minute in the morning so you can help a straggling sister untangle her knotted shoelaces. Finishing breakfast promptly provides the time to stroll to school and chat with friends along the way rather than sprinting down the block out of breath.
The need to manage time wisely doesn’t end when I drop off the kids. As a stay-at-home mom, I find that the six hours of the school day can vanish in a heartbeat if I don’t give each chunk of time its own top priority. For a few days last week I moved Christmas up the list, spending my time caroling at Carnegie Hall and admiring the angel tree at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I devoted one morning to a baby shower for three friends at our Bible study. Another day I focused on cleaning bathrooms, dusting, and laundry. Yesterday morning, running in Central Park took the top rung on the ladder. Last night was all about my couch and Love Actually. Tomorrow it will be more school-centered as I lead a Christmas craft in my twins’ class and organize costumes for the musical.
This morning I had to say no to so many distractions in order to prioritize writing this article. I thought about and then decided against cleaning my ring, checking the lost-and-found at school, taking out the recycling, catching up with friends on the sidewalk, sorting photos, or starting to pack for our trip to Mexico. While any of those would have been decent uses of time (and I’d rather that they didn’t still glare at me from my to-do list) writing took center stage today.
A friend once shared a helpful illustration. Imagine you have a bunch of rocks of varying sizes that you are trying to fit into a jar. If you first put in the large rocks, the smaller rocks will trickle down to fill in the gaps, and all the stones will eventually fit. But, if you start with the small rocks and then try adding the large ones, there won’t be enough room.
Similarly, if you waste away the morning dealing with odds and ends (the pebbles), you’ll run out of time for your big plans. However, if you start the day prioritizing what you decide is most important (the big rocks), then you can fit the minor tasks of the day in the little pockets of time that materialize here and there.
Now that this boulder of an article is in place, I’m off. Some little rocks are beckoning.
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