Carnegie Hill Mom

A year plus of pandemic turbulence has put friendships through the wringer. But the relationships that survive are pure gold. My daughter cheerfully returned to full-time, in-person school this fall only to discover that COVID had shattered her core group of three best friends. One girl’s family fled the city, the second missed the first several weeks of school while quarantining, and the third left for her original school—she had only joined us last year because our school offered some precious in-person days. As a result of this heart-wrenching, disorienting loss, my daughter kept bemoaning, “I don’t have any friends!” “Well, that’s not true,” I retorted, listing off the myriad playmates she runs around with on the playground at school pickup. “But those are Bethany and Kimberly’s friends,” Emily moped. Oh, the trials of being a middle child. Apparently her siblings’ buddies—while super fun—weren’t filling the void left behind from the loss of her close peers. And yet, for the ti...

  Are you among the throngs of travelers hitting the road this summer as cities open up after a year of Covid cramping your style? Grab some comfortable shoes, a bottle of sunscreen, and a boatload of trail mix and head northeast. New England’s rocky coastal views and wild nature will mix with quaint harbors and history to delight everyone in your family from the littlest legs to the most senior travelers. Here are some highlights to inspire your travel itinerary. These worked beautifully for my family: kids aged 4-8 as well as Mom, Dad and Grandma. Newport, Rhode Island 1.        Park at Narragansett Avenue to start at the 40 Steps and walk south past Gilded Age mansions like the Breakers, finishing this section of the Cliff Walk with some fun bolder leaping and views of Marble House across the inlet from Belmont Beach. This gives you the highlights of the cliffs without the complete 3.5 miles. You can also take a $2 trolley ride along Bellevu...

The sweltering summer I was pregnant with twins, I ventured into the uncharted territory of playgrounds. I had heard about a moms’ group that gathered at the park near the hospital where I would give birth.  Even though my babies were still buns in the oven, I couldn’t wait to plug into a network of ladies who knew a thing or two about raising kids in NYC. Without family nearby, that group became my lifeline. In true, pregnant-and-ready-to-burst style, I asked a gazillion questions. One mom still stands out in my memory nine years later. For one, she brought me the most delicious spaghetti and meatballs a week after my twins arrived. More vividly, though, I recall one morning in Central Park. She stationed herself in a shady area near the center of the playground, from which she could spot her toddler no matter which direction he wandered. She pointed out her son navigating a ladder. Suddenly, we noticed a wet spot appear and spread down his shorts. “We’re potty training,” she expl...

There’s a lie I tell myself that goes something like this: Resting is lazy. Taking a break is for the weak. Stay-at-home moms love motherhood, so we don’t need time off. Thanks to this lie, I feel guilty for taking even a moment to pause. Hence, I immediately clear my empty lunch plate instead of lingering over the rest of a magazine article. I quickly set down my phone when the kids come over or start doing sit-ups when my husband walks in on my nap. I snap out of a daydream and instead plan out meals for the week. After all, down time isn’t compatible with my lie. And yet, I know that making time for regular rest is an essential rhythm for a joyful, sustainable life. Therefore, I’ve been experimenting recently with what it could look like to keep a weekly sabbath—a day off from work (including the unpaid kind that defines  life as a mom  of four young kids). I realize full well that parents can’t just take 24 hours off from mom and dad duties. But there is definitely room fo...

I stared at the Instant Pot box collecting dust in my entryway since Black Friday, simultaneously itching to try it out and terrified that my brief glance through the startup guide would lead to a kitchen explosion with four curious kids underfoot. It wasn’t until my kids’ first day back in their NYC school building after two weeks of Thanksgiving remote learning that I had the time and mental capacity to read through the owner’s manual. Our few but precious in-person days are a chance for me to reflect, recharge , and think ahead so I’m not throwing chicken nuggets and frozen waffles into the microwave  every  night. Like a prep period can do wonders for a teacher’s lesson, an uninterrupted hour Monday morning (plus a pep talk with some fellow moms at school pickup) led to an incredible cooking and learning evening with my children that night. When I mustered up the courage to pressure cook dinner in my Instant Pot, I ended up bringing science and math into the kitchen....

Something clicked for my struggling writer this week, and now all she wants to do is make books. “I’ll I want to do is write,” my 6-year-old sighed as she Velcroed her sneakers this morning. “I wish I could staple one more book. I really wish I could get started on the next one.” “Well, hurry up and get ready for school so you can,” I said, amazed that I could suddenly use writing time as a motivator on a busy school morning. You see, up until a few days ago I had a reluctant writer on my hands. She loved to draw and would happily flaunt her knowledge of basic sight words, but when it came time to sit down and sound out words to spell them phonetically, she would freeze. During remote learning last spring, half an hour of me painfully pulling three sentences out of her and onto the page would leave us both grumpy and drained. And when she did have a story idea, she would forget it half-way through writing down the sentence—probably because the act of building the words took so long. ...